Waiting
by darlingharbour
Summary: ONESHOT: He hesitates before asking. "Do you think it's ever going to go away completely?" A wordless minute passes. The rain falters and slows to a stop. "Maybe someday, love." Riley/Zane OOC.


**A/N: Thank you guys SOOOOO much for the sweet reviews on Stolen! And the saves to favorites and alerts, it means the world to me! When I first started it, I didn't expect any feedback at all, admittedly, I was only writing this to satisfy my Zane/Riley needs. But now, wow, your guys' amazing comments and everything has exceeded my expectations by a long shot! I love you all! You guys own!**

**This fic was originally for Stolen, but I think it should stay on its own. It's longer than the drabbles, so yeah. Oh, and as you can tell, Zane is immensly OOC. I highly recommend listening to "Remain" by the Armchair Cynics while you read. xo.**

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_Waiting_

From the corner of his eye, Riley glances towards his boyfriend; his expression is stoic, meaning that he's deep in thought. He wonders what he's so fixed on, wonders if it has anything to do with him. It might have something to do with the talk they've had that morning. It's more likely that, he decides.

Because he can't stop thinking about it, either.

_He remembers waking up without Zane, the whole blanket and bed void of another figure. The lack of warmth tells it as well. He picked his head up from the pillow, only to be greeted with the dull light that filled the room, illuminating the white of the apartment. He was temporarily blinded, but his eyes adjusted quickly._

_Groggily, he glanced around the room to find that Zane was only metres away. Staring blankly out the window. Riley watched him for a couple of moments, trying to guess why his lover would be so quiet, so troubled, it seemed._

_"Rain today," came Zane's low voice. So he was observing the weather, but that couldn't explain why his face looked so... haunted. The quarterback forced himself up from his position on the bed. He sat at the edge of the mattress and motioned for Zane to come and sit next to him. The wondering boy declined, shaking his head slowly._

_"What's wrong?" Riley asked, genuinely concerned. He had never seen the younger teenager this perplexed. His mind raced with ideas on why this could be._

_"Nothing," Zane answered, brushing his fingertips against the glass. The athlete behind him could see in the reflection, as he wrapped his arms around his small waist, the softening of the brown eyes that pierced his own gaze. He held his love in his arms, still unsure on what was going on within him._

_"...They've returned." The simple statement confused him in a manifold of ways. It also scared him. What did he mean? What's returned?_

_"Zane...? What do you-"_

_Riley was cut off before he could finish the question. Zane turned his attention from the breath-taking view of the city to the curly-haired jock, twisting around the arms that encircled him._

_"The symptoms." He explains plainly, and during the silence following those two words, it sinks in. Symptoms of what? A sickness? Riley frowns heavily, as a crushing hand clenches his heart. Zane was depressed? Why hadn't he told him?_

_He notices now, while he stares into them, the void of happiness in Zane's eyes, and it causes him to shudder. He had never wanted to see him so empty, so blank. He was usually so full of life, and excitement and hope. And yet, seeing him now, he knew that almost everything had been a concealment. A mask, almost. Unless back then he had recovered from the feeling, and only now had it re-established itself back into his being. _

_That was the only reason that didn't hurt to think of. If he had been hiding his depression during the time they had been dating, then everything had been a cover up. Riley couldn't help but cringe. __He had more than a million questions, or what seemed like it, but before he could even voice one, he was interrupted by Zane, who seemed as if he were in a trance._

_"I was diagnosed with Dysthemia when I was 13... and at first, I was so confused. Y'know? I was young, and kids aren't supposed to have chronic depression. Then, I was scared, because I couldn't feel anything besides emptiness. The doctor... he couldn't find anything that caused it. No one could. It happen suddenly, I was happy all the time. Like really happy, and then one day... I didn't care about anything anymore. I felt tired all the time. And useless. And lost. My parents tried so hard to make sure I didn't-didn't try anything. And it stayed that way for a few years, until I felt better. Now, I guess it's back, because sometimes it disappears, but hits again. Although I don't understand why."_

_"Why-why didn't you tell me?" He stuttered, his blue/green eyes still fixed on the younger boy's. His first intial reaction - shock - was soon dissolving into disbelief._

_Zane breaks the contact first, hanging his head sullenly and pulling out of his boyfriend's enclosure. He flops uncharacteristally onto the bed, his body weight seeming too much for him. "I didn't want you to worry."_

_The football star opens his mouth, but struggles to find the words he needs. Now, his disbelief is transitioning to anger._

_"You didn't want me to worry?" he cried, raising his voice as the result of this answer. "What makes you think that telling me afterwards would affect how I'd react?"_

_Zane remained motionless, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know, I just..." his voice breaks off, and Riley can hear his audible breathing, it soothes him quite a bit. But his heart is still pounding furiously, refusing to allay. Its loud, especially in his ears. _

_"I didn't know it would come back. And once I felt like this, I thought you'd make me go see a therapist or something..."_ _His voice is small, and full of fear. Riley doesn't know exactly what he's afraid of, but he rushes over to his noticeably inert body and takes him into another tight grasp. Zane, this time, wraps his own arms around his lover and gently begins to cry._

_"You're gonna be okay," Riley promises, his own tears threatening to spill. "I'll make sure of it."_

And now, seeing Zane much more calmer than before somewhat eases his nerves. It's obvious he's still a little upset, but sitting in the park has made him more steady. Maybe the whole depression hasn't come back fully, maybe he can help diminish it before it becomes severe.

The light rain drizzles upon the two, but both welcome it, wanting the crisp, cold atmosphere to sweep their overwhelming emotions away. At least for a little while.

Zane rests his head in the crook of the athelete's neck, sighs and then inhales the sweet, sharp air around them. When he exhales, his breath is visible. He shivers right after, and thinks, a_t least I'm feeling something other than nothingness_.

But he snatches the thought right back, because he's with Riley, the most important person in his life. With him, he's always feeling something.

He hesitates before asking. "Do you think its ever going to go away... completely?"

A wordless minute passes. The rain falters and slows to a stop.

"Maybe someday, love."

He hates his answer, but he thinks it's honest. He kisses Zane's cheek lovingly, and in compensation. _And hopefully_, he thinks, _that day is soon_. He takes Zane's hand in his, and the two watch as the grey clouds above them drift away. And slowly, but surely, the blue sky hidden underneath is revealed.

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Okay, I wasn't so sure about the ending, but I decided to stay with it anyways. Every couple needs their highs and lows, and I just had to write this. It seems really out of character for Zane, because he was so happy and everything in 'In Your Eyes', but we don't know him yet, so I just took a chance. Who knows? Review? :)


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